I am feeling so blessed right now - I am a finalist in this contest! If you could show your support and vote for me, I would totally appreciate it! Voting is once/day from now until Halloween. We could really use this! Thanks so much! Also, please feel free to pass this along!
Late summer typically represents what some like to call “baby season,” because the months July, August and September supposedly show an increase in births in the United States. Jessica posted (and added some adorable pics) about her friend who just welcomed her second child, Savannah. SELECT’s curriculum director is due in December with her first child, Sophia, and has been instrumental to our transition to not only medical school but Florida as well. Today we decided to thank her for all she has done and presented her with a rockin’ Jeep Stroller for the new addition. Our class is pretty awesome.
Why am I talking about this? Because EVERYWHERE I go lately there are babies. Or pregnant women. I’ve also been thinking that I am “ready” for another. Samantha wants a sibling, my fiance and I want more kids but this is hardly the optimal time to add to our family. Unfortunately for my situation, there is no foreseeable right time for another baby. I will most likely finish my training in my mid-30’s and I’m not sure I would have a child then. I’m also not sure I would have a child during medical school or residency/fellowship. This leaves me with…a few years ago, OOPS. As much as I love being a mom and want to have more kids, I think it may be out of the cards for us. While there are many physicians who successfully balance families and their careers, and though I am a firm believer that you can be a fantastic parent and professional, I think so many factors have to align in your favor for this to occur. I have been incredibly lucky thus far, dare I push that luck one more time? Only time will tell.
Just had to quickly post that my best friend Amanda is in labor right now with her second child! Her first is Hayley’s best friend, Sean, born 12/31/04, 6 days after Hayley. She was my college roommate, and I absolutely love her. She is having a baby girl, Savannah Rae, who I cannot wait to meet (hopefully tomorrow!). If you could just keep her in your thoughts and prayers (if you pray!), I would appreciate it. Hoping her labor goes smooth - she is quite nervous!
I’m currently on fall break, a glorious week of NO studying! We just finished our first block, “Musculoskeletal” where we learned all the muscles, all the bones, as well as biochem, genetics, embryo, histology, etc. I think I mentioned them all before. I can safely say (11 weeks in) that I LOVE having an integrated system. It rocks. First off, certain professors are better than others and having a good mix throughout the week really makes a difference. I am not a huge fan of our pass/fail system. It is intended to decrease stress and increase collaboration among our class. It has definitely accomplished the latter. Our class is a pretty smart bunch, with averages in the 80’s consistently and if you are below a 76% because of our “2 standard deviation” rule, you failed course 1 and have to remediate. Most schools 70+ is passing. I was fortunate enough to be safely above a 76 but I think that’s too high to FAIL at. Maybe not. I hope I never have to remediate but at least the option is there rather than failing the year.
I am loving the SELECT curriculum. We finished course 1, “healthcare financing” and it went well. We have continued to integrate our leadership training modules and will be starting LCE (longitudinal clinical experience) in November. We also got iPads!!
I have fantastic mentors through the program, one in particular, Dr. Friel is an OBGYN in the network. I spent some time shadowing her and grilling her with all my silly questions. I can’t wait to go back over winter break.
Not much else going on in my life. Living the dream :/
I first just want to say that I am deeply saddened to hear about the passing of Steve Jobbs, Apple’s CEO. To quote Apple:
“Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend and an inspiring mentor. Steve leaves behind a company that only he could have built, and his spirit will forever be the foundation of Apple.”
There are several reasons why his passing affects me. Most of all, it is because Steve passed away from pancreatic cancer, the same form of cancer my father was afflicted with. I had to watch my father whittle away to nothing; anyone who has dealt with pancreatic cancer firsthand can tell you how quick and vicious it is. I also was unbelievably shocked that he passed away at such a young age, only a year younger than my father. I feel like more and more people I know are passing away in their 50’s these days, either from a form of cancer or a surprise heart attack or stroke that they never saw coming. As someone with anxiety about death - not to mention that my next birthday will be 25, supposedly quarter life - this terrifies me.
On a more uplifting note, I just wanted to post that I am *loving* my normalcy. My anxiety has gotten a *ton* better (knock on wood!) thanks to my medication and a phenomenal primary care physician. I have to admit that this particular doctor is the best family physician I have ever encountered, and I have had a good number of them in my lifetime! I don’t think I would have had such a wonderful outcome if she wasn’t there for me to listen to my worries and work with me to find the best diagnosis and treatment possible. All you aspiring physicians out there, you *will* make a difference!
I am still very happy with my decision not to retake my MCAT. I have to admit that there were times earlier on where it made me a little sad. When I sat down and analyzed it, though, I wasn’t sad for what I felt were the “right” reasons. I was sad because I was giving up my dream of being a physician, but like I said before, healthcare is my passion. I am *not* giving up healthcare. I will make a difference and see patients as a mid-level provider (or such is my goal, I need an acceptance first!) that will also give me a great sense of balance and the possibility to really be there for my family every step of the way. I am nearing the point where I want another baby. In fact, if things were just a little different, I would be ready to have one right now. I don’t think I’m more than a few years away from it, though, and I am thrilled!
I am taking much needed “me” time. As Kyle told me, I never got this chance to really take a break and find myself. I went from being pregnant at a young age to rushing through high school and college. As young parents, we feel this need to quickly finish school and “provide” for our children. I now have a very happy picture of what I want out of life, and it includes Kyle and I both working “normal” hours in careers we love and really being there for our family. Speaking of which, I want to take a moment to say how proud I am of him and his success. He is a fantastic web designer and has really built himself up. He works at an incredible company and makes great money. He also freelances on the side and has built up a great clientele as a result. He is constantly requested by others to give talks and teach seminars. I am truly so proud of how talented and committed to his work he is. Yet, he is home for dinner every night and is constantly playing with Hayley, whether it is a board game or taking her for a bike ride. He has taught me that as long as you love what you do and have balance in your life, you will feel fulfilled. I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful person by my side; I don’t know how I got so lucky.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I have time to write. I have time to go to the gym. I have time to pick up my daughter from school each day and chat with the other parents (not that I have much to say; they have at least ten years on me, after all!). I have time to watch Hayley run around outside with the neighborhood children, bake her birthday cake, and plan her party. Christmas shop. Throw a Halloween bash at the end of the month. I know the craziness will begin when school starts again, and I am hoping I will start late spring/early summer/fall depending on the program I end up in. I am not going to reveal anything until things are finalized, but I have some application plans. :)
Just feeling very blessed <3 It’s a wonderful thing.