Stethoscopes & Sippy Cups: An Atypical Journey

  1. The Publishing Process Continues, by Jessica

    I am officially done with my book and am now going through my final round of self-editing. I have decided to self-publish for several reasons, so my next step is to hire a freelance editor. I thankfully have my older brother to help me with this process. I really value his advice. 

    Seventeen more days until the big move to Philly! 

    I have been EXTREMELY busy getting everything ready for school. There are so many little errands to run (finger printing, drug screen, immunizations, physical) as well as things to buy (books, scrubs, lab coat). We already have our first HUGE assignment, which is a very lengthy set of modules in tandem with reading and writing assignments. It is due June 21st, so I need to finish it before I move so I’m not too stressed. 

    I got my schedule, too, and I am pleased with it for the most part. I have the “less exciting” clinicals/classes first, but I guess I’ll get them over with and move onto what I’m most interested in come Spring. I also have a few part-time work study research assistant positions I am interviewing for in a couple weeks for the Fall. 

    Exciting times :)

  2. Catching babies and stuff, by Emma

    Happy Birthday Zoey :)

    One of my good friends from the pharmacy I worked at just had her first baby, Zoey on Saturday night.  She is such a precious little girl and isn’t giving her parents a hard time (yet)!! Allie is amazing and went through 18 hours of labor with no epidural and I know she is going to be a fantastic mom. 

    My summer has been crazy busy so far, I’ve been working in community health/adolescent medicine on a teen pregnancy project. As soon as we have IRB approval (fingers crossed) we will actually get the project rolling but for now there is a lot of desk work and background stuff to be done. I’ve also been able to spend time at the high school talking to (more like listening to) the pregnant/parenting teens there. Teenage pregnancy is a HUGE problem in the area I am working and there aren’t nearly enough resources dedicated to helping these women and their children. 

    My absolute FAVORITE part of this summer (besides not studying and spending tons of time with my hubby/daughter) has been taking “call” with Dr. Friel on the labor and delivery floor. It is super fast past, really exciting and something I feel very fortunate to get to experience. I’ve already learned so much and been allowed to do much more than I had anticipated. Having teachers who truly want to teach is an absolute must in medical school and I am so grateful that I have so many who really care.  

    That’s all for now. I hope you are all enjoying Memorial Day with your family and friends, Thank you to those who have and those who continue to serve our country. 

  3. Book and A Project, by Jessica

    I am officially ALMOST done editing my book! I have 30 pages left to edit, and then I am going to go through it one more time as a whole. My brother said he would pass it along to his agent, so I am really excited. It has been my dream for as long as I can remember to publish a book, and I am hoping it is going to be come a reality. I will keep you posted. :)

    I also wanted to show you a project I completed this past weekend. A close friend of mine is getting married in August (and I am a bridesmaid!), and I made this for her as part of her wedding shower present. Her wedding colors are navy and lilac, and the words shown are lyrics to the song she will have her first dance to with her new husband. The “C” and the “M” are the first initials of their names. I am really pleased with how it came out!

    Hope everyone is having a FABULOUS Memorial Day weekend! I am moving to Philly THREE WEEKS from today!!!

  4. Without A Plan, by Jessica

    You can ask anyone who knows me well: I have the tendency to over-plan and drive everyone around me a little crazy in the process. Since becoming a young mother, I have always felt the need to compartmentalize my life and make sure I know *exactly* what the future is going to bring, even ten years down the road. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am facing life without a plan. I admit that it is partially exhilarating, but equally terrifying. 

    On June 17th, I am leaving for Philadelphia where I will move into my new apartment. Hayley will be off to my mother’s until my classes end, and my husband gets to relive his glory days as a bachelor for a couple months. 

    We have no idea how we are going to handle this year apart. I am going to plan to come home via Amtrak every other weekend. I plan to Skype with Hayley every night, and we will also keep in touch through texts (she can text on her ipod touch!) and the DrawSomething game (have you played? you should). Hayley and Kyle will resume their normal lives here in Massachusetts, and I will be working hard in Philly making every second spent away from the two of them count. 

    Though I am accepted into the Nurse Anesthesia program, I don’t know if I am going to stay in that specialty. That is one fabulous thing about Penn’s program: they allow you to switch as you experience your clinical rotations. I am *very* passionate about Women’s Health but don’t know if I would want to fulfill that role as a Women’s Health NP. As a Nurse Anesthetist, it is my hope to work in obstetrical anesthesia in an inner-city hospital so I can get exposure to low income women and adolescents. What if, however, I realize I want to best fulfill this passion as a Psych NP? Or maybe not as a practicing nurse at all, but rather as a healthcare executive in a more administrative position? I just don’t know what life will bring, but I know this program will take me exactly where I want to go.

    In a year’s time, I will be six months away from graduating with my second Bachelor’s degree, the BSN. I will either be looking for a Critical Care nursing position to have for 12-24 months (if I am continuing on the Anesthesia track), or I will be gearing up to continue my education in one of the other programs at Penn, all of which begin right away. Will Kyle and Hayley still be in the Boston area? Will we decide to move to Philly or a surrounding town so we can be together? My husband’s company has also recently expanded to San Francisco, and we have the opportunity to move out there. It is my *dream* to live in California, so of course I am jumping at this chance. We talked about maybe having them move out there next summer, and then I would join them after the BSN portion. So if that’s the case, how would that work if I had to go back to Penn for another two years to complete the CRNA program? Would I go through all of the heartache and hard work to transfer to a program out there? Or am I going to be interested in a different specialty, and I would need to stay in Philly and away from them for even longer? Somewhere in this mix, by the way, will be Baby #2. I’m getting a little antsy to get moving on that. 

    As you can see, I am giving myself a headache with all of these unknowns. I definitely have no plan right now, and it’s not exactly something I’m fully comfortable admitting. As our friends and family learn of our upcoming plans, they have inquired as to how this will work. Though I’m usually the one with all the answers, I have had to admit that I truly don’t know what this year will bring. I do know, however, that we will continue to take it one step at a time. I also know that Hayley will be very well cared for here and surrounded by people who love and support her. At this point, that is all I can really ask for. 

  5. Hayley and I, Mother’s Day 2012 <3

    Hayley and I, Mother’s Day 2012 <3

  6. My daughter and I at brunch, Happy Mothers Day to all you mommies out there :) -Emma

    My daughter and I at brunch, Happy Mothers Day to all you mommies out there :)
    -Emma

  7. 30 Things I Want Pregnant Teenage Girls to Know, by Jessica

    Things Pregnant Teenage Girls Should Know

    After watching all of these countless episodes of MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, I feel I need to instill some wisdom. I realize that it’s next to impossible to agree with every single point on my list, and I fully admit that all of these thoughts are products of my own experiences as a former teen parent.

    1. You can stop compulsively lathering your body with cocoa butter from the moment of conception, because you will probably get at least one stretch mark. If you’re lucky, they’ll fade over time. If you’re really lucky, you won’t get any at all - please don’t count on the latter.

    2. Yes, your body will resemble a deflated tire after giving birth. No, it won’t stay that way forever. Usually.

    3. A baby is not a fashion accessory. Nor is it just a life-like doll that you can play dress-up with. Babies are more work than you can ever imagine, but this concept won’t really sink in until you’re home from the hospital with your newborn. Believe me when I say that you have no fucking idea what you’re getting yourself into.

    4. Please don’t become one of those obnoxious young moms posting pictures of themselves wearing next to nothing with their child in the background, bragging about their “bangin’ afterbirth body” and “newfound MILF status.” It’s not flattering, and it frankly just makes you look trashy.  

    5. You know how exhausted and hungover you feel after a night out partying followed by a really early wake up call? Multiply that by at least 100, and get used to it fast.

    6. Diapers are expensive. So are wipes, bottles, and basically everything else you will need for this baby. You will begin to appreciate your parents more when you realize that the cost of a baby crib is basically equivalent to the amount of money you earn in a month from your part-time job. Minimum wage is a harsh reality. 

    7. Things will get better. The loneliness that washes over you when you have been home from the hospital for a few weeks and are stuck inside with a baby while simultaneously struggling with your body image and identity – it will pass.

    8. Stop obsessing about moving out and getting your own place. You’re a teenager, and you’re going to want all the help and emotional support that you can possibly get. There are obviously exceptions to this (ie, broken homes), but if your life is halfway normal, do yourself a favor and channel that focus to more important areas, like finishing school and raising your child.

    9. Getting pregnant as a teenager does NOT make you a bad person. Yes, teenage pregnancy is preventable, but shit happens. Whoever tries to tell you otherwise has either never had any significant life experience, or they’re just lying to you.

    10. If you don’t want the responsibility of a baby right now, consider adoption. It’s an incredible, selfless gift that you can give your child.

    11. Getting pregnant and choosing to keep this baby will NOT keep him around. Sooner or later he will revert back to his old ways, only this time, it will probably be with someone else.

    12. Don’t have this baby to “fix” anything, either. It will only make your broken relationship even more broken, while harming an innocent child in the process.

    13. You don’t have to stay in a relationship with your baby’s father. Sometimes it’s better for the child if you’re not. A lot of the time, it’s better for YOU.

    14. It is possible to maintain a decent, mature relationship with your baby’s father even if you’re not together, particularly if he’s proven to be a fantastic dad and role model. Don’t be selfish and let your pettiness stand in the way. Your child deserves the best.

    15. On the other hand, it’s not always best for a child to have close, consistent contact with his or her father. Biological father or not, if his presence is NOT in the best interest of your child, don’t force it. 

    16. You WILL find love again. This isn’t 1920; having an out-of-wedlock pregnancy (is that expression even used anymore?) does not make you untouchable for the rest of your life. You WILL find someone who will love you and your child unconditionally, just as you both deserve.

    17. Don’t repeat your mistakes. Whatever flaw in your contraceptive plan, fix it ASAP.

    18. Don’t be afraid to tell your parents. Well, be afraid, but tell them anyway. They will probably be more supportive than you think, and they love you unconditionally.

    19. You will really discover who your true friends are. You will probably be shocked – and hurt – at the outcome.  

    20. Yes, you should continue your education. No, a high school diploma is not good enough, because YOU deserve better. No matter your passion, whether it is best carried out at a four-year college or a trade school, pursue it! You are not only giving yourself and your child a brighter future, but you are serving as a positive role model and example for him or her as well.

    21. Speaking of education, read a Child Growth & Development textbook. It will truly make you a better mother.

    22. You can still be successful and make something of yourself, but it’s going to be incredibly difficult as well as a constant uphill battle. You ARE capable of success, though, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The more support you have, the better.

    23. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to use government assistance, but please, don’t stay on it forever. We all need extra help sometimes, but view it as a temporary solution. Utilize it for a few years, get on your feet, and pay it forward.

    24. There is nothing more incredible – and frightening – than holding your newborn child in your arms for the first time.

    25. No matter what you might think at the time, you will look back in 10 years from this moment and realize how incredibly young, naïve, and unprepared you were.

    26. Be smart. Just because you’re young doesn’t give you any excuse to drink, smoke, curse incessantly, or party nonstop around your child. You are being forced to grow up faster, so do it.

    27. Likewise, don’t forget to set aside time for yourself. Don’t let anybody try to convince you that you shouldn’t be having fun and moving on. Just be mature and responsible about it.

    28. You are going to be tested beyond belief and learn something new everyday. You will surprise yourself with how incredibly strong and resilient you will become; likewise, there will be times when you just want to wallow in despair and give up. Motherhood is an emotional rollercoaster.

    29. Nobody prepares you the constant feeling of failure. No matter how successful you become, a part of you will always feel like a teen mom. You will watch your childless peers stash money and purchase homes while you’re paying an insanely high rent in the best possible town because you want to send your child to a fantastic public school. You will constantly wonder if what you’re doing is good enough, and if your child is going to resent you despite your best efforts. You will spend all of your extra income on ballet lessons, baseball, and an educational yet fantastically fun summer camp. Even with a college degree and the yearly income they promise, a part of you will perpetually feel “behind.” It’s a known statistic that teen parents rarely catch up financially to their childless peers, and you will learn this firsthand. Being a teen parent never ends.

    30. You are now a statistic. One in four American teenagers become pregnant; now turn around and become that 3% who graduates college before age thirty.

    <3 

  8. Final Humanities Assignment, by Emma

    We had a final assignment for our Medical Humanities year-long course and I wanted to share with y’all because it was a sort of reflection on my first year in medical school. A very, very brief glimpse of the year. 

    Art reaches the mind and the heart, W. C Williams, MD.

     

    I found myself relating to this poem to an experience I had in clinic this past spring. A nineteen-year old Mexican woman came in for her two-week post-partum visit, after giving birth to her second child. She had been through this once before and I expected our encounter to be routine.   While her physical exam was unremarkable and her lab data were all within normal values, she was nowhere near her normal self.  She was not the happy new mother I had become accustomed to seeing, and there was far more than exhaustion dampening her mood.  Throughout our discussion, I learned that Susana* was having what she described as “evil thoughts”. She explained that as she was driving over the Causeway she pulled over and just stared at her children for “hours”. Quite confused by this, I asked her what she felt was “Evil” about her actions. She proceeded to describe her thoughts at that very moment, that her children were better off going over the guardrail and into the water below. She told me that she knew she was not going to be a good mother and that she often left her children at home to simply “get away”, not thinking about the consequences.

     

    As a first year medical student, I have found myself lost in many clinical encounters, often not knowing what to say or how to proceed.  It is in my nature to be aware of my shortcomings and my limited clinical experiences are the greatest examples of this, but this feeling was quite distinct. For the first time, I felt intense fear at what would happen next. Realistically, I knew she was not going to reach across the desk to harm myself or her innocent little girl between us, but I was frozen in that moment. I knew that I had to diffuse the situation and seek help from my resident because this woman was going to be affected by whatever I said or did. The delicacy and urgency this moment presented was a learning experience and not something I take for granted. I am thankful for this encounter because it made real to me my future responsibilities as a caregiver.

     

    *Name has been changed to protect the patient’s identity.

     

    For there will be the arts, John Stone, MD.

     

    Scientific knowledge, examination of skills, and deductive reasoning are essential to the work of a physician. They are the tools necessary to provide patient care and treat illness but they are only part of a provider’s skillset.  Equally, if not of greater importance is the ability to communicate with patients. I believe that patient communication is an art, something we must consistently work at building and improving. Learning how to talk to patients has been a huge part of my development this past year. I have always been rather comfortable speaking with people but felt an extreme unease when putting on my white coat and playing the role of a doctor.

     

    Through doctoring and clinical exposures, I have learned the basic skills necessary to communicate with patients. I have been taught what to do and what not to do, and I have tested the advice my preceptors have provided. Some may say that learning how to talk to people is common knowledge and not something worth medical school tuition for, but I would have to disagree. These “soft skills” have carried me further this year than any of the “hard facts” that I have learned throughout our basic science courses. I have relied on my communication skills and have stored away the countless biochemical pathways presented. That will undoubtedly change when studying for step exams and during clinical rotations, but this invaluable skill I have gained during first year will always be there to help guide me through. 

  9. HELLO Second Year, by Emma

    So, it is not 100% official as I have not yet received the email from our course coordinator with my exam 3 grade saying “Congratulations, you have passed course 4”… But, I did. There is no doubt in my mind that I passed this test, this course, this year. It has been one hell of a ride and I can’t say I’ve loved every minute of it but I love where it is taking me and the confidence I’ve gained to take on second year. 

  10. The Private Loan, by Jessica

    So I have reached the *very* best part of the application process [insert sarcasm here]: FUNDING my Ivy League education. :|

    I first have to say, Penn is EXTREMELY generous with financial aid! Because I’m not a very private person, I have no problem laying out on the table that after grants and federal loans, I am only left with a few thousand dollar gap. Normally that’d be great, right?! The only problem is, now I have these living expenses hanging over my head. Since Kyle and Hayley will be here in Mass this first year, I had to get my own apartment (which I found with a roommate from my program to make it more cost effective, and she’s fabulous) and will have separate bills. After all, my only other options are either being homeless on the street or holing it up in one of Penn’s libraries, which I don’t think they’d appreciate too much. Philly isn’t the safest city in the world, and coming from a sheltered upper-class suburb, I am living in the safest part of the city in a high rise building complete with security. Especially with my anxiety, I know that I’d rather pay a little extra and feel *SAFE* in my home. That’s just me, though, and I totally acknowledge the fact that I’m a little insane.

    Needless to say, paying for Endicott was a very different experience. My education was completely covered by grants and federal loans, and I was able to take out additional federal loans for living expenses. I had no idea that private loans were even an option until earlier this year. After looking into them a little, they completely terrify me.

    This “interest rate” I am given has the ability to change with the market? So Sallie Mae could technically sign me with an initial 3% interest rate and then increase it substantially? It’s not “fixed?” It’s all just overwhelming.

    I’m in the process right now of looking at private loans through banks and Sallie Mae, and I’m not exactly liking what I find. I realize plenty of people have to do this, and the only reason it scares me is because I’m afraid I’ll be one of those people who won’t be able to pay it all back. At least with a MD degree, you *KNOW* it will be paid off. Same with a DMD; my good friend at Tufts Dental was initially overwhelmed by her 200k debt, but then realized that she would make more than enough even right out of school to pay it back.

    I once had lunch with a lawyer who complained how she graduated with a six figure debt and had to take a HORRIBLE job in order to pay it back. She worked insane hours and never saw her kids because she had to make her monthly payments, which exceeded $1k; to someone who pays $200/month for student loans at the moment, THAT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME. I can’t imagine having THAT much debt, yet I don’t have any other options. I don’t have $50k sitting around (what it would cost for tuition and living expenses for the entire BSN portion of the program, 18 months, and it’ll be more for the MSN portion!), so this is what I need to do. I just hope I figure out which loans are the best! And that it all works out.

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